We now have a precise mathematical definition of "beer goggles".




An is the number of servings of alcohol
S is the smokiness of the area on a scale of 0 - 10
L is the lighting level of the area, measured in candelas per square meter, in which 150 is normal room lightning
Vo is Snellen visual acuity, in which 6/6 is normal and 6/12 is the lower limit at which someone is able to drive
d is the distance between the observer and the observed, measured in meters

Source: http://people.howstuffworks.com/ref/beer-goggles.htm

And uh bikes something or other fixed gear blah blah