Ha Ha indeed. I HAVE to have a brake on my bike. No because I use it, I seldom do, mostly when I'm just lazy. I HAVE to because I have two young kids at home and it would suck to have them growing up hearing the story of having no dad because I wanted to be cool. Twice now I've used my brake in a car/bike incident. Both times the car stopped at the last moment so they wouldn't have hit me anyway, but had they flaked for a second it would have been the brake that saved my ass. Yes I can skid stop, but I can stop a lot faster with a front brake and I certainly can't skid while in a corner.
So I know you're only sort of just kidding, but I really don't see any problem with anybody riding with or without a brake. Unless they put a brake on a true track frame of course. (I'm really just kidding about that, honest)