Originally Posted by cyclezealot
Cyclingg.f. has disappeared..The Forum, for once joins the soaps. Not really, this is an aspect of our cycling need. I have worked out this dilema for for my wife and myself.... We have sufficient time together. At times my wife regrets how house duties suffer. But then, often she is with her quilting group on Saturdays' while I am out on my bike..(This is a craft originating with her great grandmother.)So we have an equal footing on that score.
Notice..G.F. has not been with us a couple of days...Sorry to say, some of our answers probably were not what she wanted to hear.? I tried offering positive solutions..
My wife knows she can't effect my cycling, as long as I try to be reasonable- and leave maybe, half my free time for us..
Considering my addiction, I think I am acting pretty fair. I could go away on a weekend trip for the whole weekend. I am reasonable.. If I did go on a cycing trip away from home for the weekend, of course; It would be arranged in a way that she would be involved.She likes nice hotels with saunas..Nice dinners.
But, we do not hear from G.F., we will never know how our constructive advice affected their dilema..Wish we could help..Will we ever hear from B.F.?
Like to think, if we pushed her over the edge, it is what 'B.F.' wanted? All we did is recant our own personal situations....Wish we could hear from him and know he is not ticked at us. WIsh them both what is best for both. She seemed so uncompromising.
I resent my first wife not letting me remain in scuba.:.G.F. is like what she seems like, we did you a favor - whoever, B.F. is...Think of all the great diving spots I would have gotten to with my first wife, should she have been fairer.It would have expanded her horizons.
'G.F.' does not come back in a constructive spirit, I would say she packed her bags ... And please, those who say we are addicts.We are not. We know what we like..We are hardly alone or freaks..We are out to achieve our life-long goals...
Should you be one who is obsessed, that being possible; there are plenty obsessed of the opposite sex.
Heah, CHRIS, from the land of Passionfruit...You read this..How is the woman with the enthralling voice.Better quiz her on her feelings about cycling and act accordingly..You can and will find a female obsessive cyclist if you choose to.
My question..The woman behind the voice..Is she a cyclist..?
Actually, I can say that she hasn't been back in a few days, but at the same time, indicating from the last time she was around, the majority of people were all for sticking it out and commenting that the guy's cycling was way over the top and they should seek some kind of counselling. She may still be logging in as a guest, which is no problem. I bet anything she's still reading the comments and/or her fiance has read the thread, and he's finally coming around to talking to her about their problems.
It seems ridiculous to attack and assume she's being uncompromising- from what this woman described, this guy is seriously attached to cycling, and not in a healthy way. Again, I could see him doing this if he was a professional, but he's NOT- so why spend your entire morning cycling, plus your lunchtime, then spend all your spare time doing cycling stuff- cycling repair, cycling forums, etc., plus all your talk is about cycling... that's obsessive.... or borderline obsessive. Cycling is not a hobby when it's completely become the focus of your life- it's an obsession. A hobby is a side interest, and for this guy, it's not. It's his CENTRAL interest.
They will probably have to talk it out and make some tough choices. As uncompromising as she may sound, he sounds EQUALLY as uncompromising when she approaches him to talk to him. The typical brush off "you're crazy" attitude does not endear me to him, and sounds as uncompromising as this woman may sound to others. I could see someone like Machka saying that it's not a lot- but she's into that randeuneering stuff, so that's not a lot. But for someone in a relationship where there's going to be a marriage in the near future, and there's clearly not a lot of interest on her behalf for cycling, the cycling is getting in the way of the relationship. I could see that perhaps she could support the guy and just do other things while he's out doing his cycling stuff, but at the same time, I think it would be irresponsible to support someone who has an unhealthy addiction to something- that's like telling an alcoholic's wife to support the drinking habits. Then the wife becomes the enabler of the alcoholic.
Hopefully, they'll both realize something's up, and they'll sit down and figure out what's best for them, whether she needs to support and understand his love of cycling, or he needs to cut back and recognize that he's cutting her out of his life by spending all his time focused on his bike.
Koffee