I have been having too much fun with internet 'stuff' generators today. I found a blog that lists hundreds. http://generatorblog.blogspot.com/

The Ad slogan generator is good:
Nothin' Says Lovin' Like Maimed Torso from the Oven.

Some generated advice:
IF YOU ARE A F*CK HEAD, COMPLEMENT SH*T-PILES IN DIE FLEDERMAUS-STYLE

Medical excuse generator:
What a week! First my intestinal parasites returned, and then, would you believe, my doctor said it was all in my head! I'm run down and listless and I don't know if I can ever live a normal life again. I just pray that next week I prosper on the new diet.