I had a bunch of 12 year olds kick the living shhite (extra "h" for emphasis) for having a kickstand...just yesterday. Once the tears dried and my lips stopped swelling, I could see that life is cruel and that having a kickstand means you get what you deserve. As I was riding home, I saw a smallish, stray yip-dog. I slowed down and went over to vent my frustration by kicking it. It bit me square in the n*ts. Then those kids heard me screaming and beat the shhite out of me again, this time with an old bedpan. Those sure sound funny when they hit your head...I lost count after 7.
When I awoke the next day, my bike was still upright on the sidewalk, thanks to my kickstand!
(edit: for sarcastic purposes only)