[The scene opens with the mad doctor lusting in his vain imaginations over potential thrift-store bike bargains...]

"Do you sell these bikes, 'as-is,' or do you make allowances for broken parts? This one has five broken spokes. Aside from it's otherwise perfect form, it looks like it met its demise in a minor accident."

"Ninety percent of our bikes have broken parts. Basic frame and wheels, mostly ok, as is, $15.15. [$16.04 with tax.]" ($15.15? $15.11 might have come out to exactly $16.00. What do I need with $0.96? )

[Later, at home...]

"Honey, look what I got!" (No observable reactions. Will check pulse.) "Only $15.15...well, $16.04...!"

:thumbup:

"Will you clean up this sink before you leave?"

"Um, yes, dear...(muhahahah! )"

[Next day, we find the doctor in his living room with a partially dismembered Schwinn Super Sport (pity, it was a wonderful specimen...)]

"The friction shifter's connected to the...head tube...the head tube's connected to the...spacer-thingy..."

[Maniacal laughter...]

IT'S ALIVE!

The "monster" is actually quite handsome.

My 1999 Trek 1200 originally had STI shifters (24 speeds), but blew up. For over a year now, it has used my Giant mountain bike's flat handlebars and gripshifters.

But now she sports her original handlebars, brake levers, and...

A [1975?] set of Schwinn Super Sport friction shifters! (Even has the "S" where the thumb goes. Reminds me of those fancy four-speed manual shifts some kids put on their cars long, long ago... )

I test drove it only 20 minutes ago. I am obsessed!

If you have any vintage bikes laying around, you'd better lock them up...