Man up and get the gear...nobody will notice or think you're a poseur. Look around at any century ride...there are plenty of overweight, middle aged folks riding in lycra. Most look like "enthusiasts".

Of course, it depends somewhat on what you wear...if you're way overweight and you've stuffed yourself into high-end Assos gear, you might look like you're kind of silly. But, stick with PI, Performance, etc., and you'll be cool.