A) SELECT * FROM job j join systems s on j.jobid = s.jobid
WHERE s.tediumID in (SELECT tediumid from bureacraticpapershuffling where tediumid > 500)
and j.salaryid in (select salaryid from careers where lucrative = 'no')
and j.location = chicago

B) 10 miles each way, 7 of those on the glorious shore of lake michigan.

C) Used to towel down & spray my entire upper body with right guard in the handicapped restroom of office. Then I did this in the restroom of the commuter train on the way to an office in the burbs. Now I shower (and occasionally workout) at a gym 1 block from my office, then I unroll a khaki-&-polo-shirt burrito. There is a dry cleaner nearby for button-down days.

D) On a rack in front of a busy public building: lock + cable + seat cable + remove the lights + prayer.

E) 5 yrs.

F) 3 seasons, working on 4, but waking up and riding in total frozen darkness is a challenge for this lazy fat ass.