Originally Posted by slvoid
So yes, I can and will walk away knowing that it ended even before I was given the option. Especially if we had kids. While I can't speak for your situation (and my apologies) I for one would not stay with my wife if she were to cheat on me. It just wouldn't feel right. (So maybe I'm that 1/5th of men out there).
Once again call me weird but on the other hand if she were to outright come out and say, "I want an affair" I'd probably be able to handle that better than having her hide it from me for 6 months and then finding out from one of my friends. I would appreciate that she's at least honest with me.
I hear what you're saying and I appreciate it. Your feelings are EXACTLY what mine were until it actually happened. But there are a lot of reasons why somebody would be willing to break the vows. And they're not all one-sided. Being able to look within and understand why things happen the way they do, or did, is a huge part of the process of healing, starting over, and re-establishing trust.
The percentages I quoted are in fact, true. Unfortunately, I spent way too much time over at another forum learning about things I thought I already knew. Also, it's not so easy to just walk away when you've got 13 years of history, kids, a mortgage and a business, aging parent issues, etc....it may sound easy, but it isn't. You inevitably look at all the options, including trying to repair what needs fixing....
Like my Lemond MJ. Off the soapbox and to the garage....
55/Rad