whew!
take a deep breath or 3, and put down the coffee, you sound kinda jittery....

I can speak from my own experiences, and those of people I know, that if you want to live close to where you work, you can. Everything is a compromise. The job may pay less. That might be OK, cause you won't have to drive 100+ miles round trip!

Your wife works 20 miles away
- there's folks on this formum bike commuting farther than that
- the job must be worth it to her
- she has the freedom to choose to commute or find a new job

You're right, it's called Life, and much of Life is spent trying to improve the quality of Life, it's always a compromise.... I've decided to enjoy it and let no one rain on my day (other than the weather man)

Cheers