Some of my favorite roads (I'm thinking Rt 29 from Lambertville, NJ along the Delaware River and Delaware Raritan Canal to Frenchtown, for example) have shoulders on both sides as wide and well maintained as the two traffic lanes. I don't think I have ever seen a cyclist travelling that road riding in the traffic lanes. There is no law stating that you can't ride in the traffic lanes, but, why would you want to ride there? Yea, on that road, I ride the shoulder.

. . . and, on almost any road where the shoulder is sufficiently large, smooth, and free of debris, I prefer to ride there.

In NYC, I will ride the bike lanes if they are in good shape and unobstructed, but will take a lane with the best of them when it is in the interest of safety to do so.

In my mind, coexistence means that cars need to slow down for me when there really isn't anywhere else for me to ride, but, I should give way for them when, to do so neither inconveniences nor threatens me. You ride your style, I'll ride mine. I guess I am just not into that level of advocacy for advocacy's sake.

That said, I am no more tolerant of honkers than anyone else here. A friend that I work with once passed me, he in his car, me on my bike. He yells out the window for me to "get off the road."

I reflexively unleashed a flurry of language and a jesture or two that would make Popeye chuck his spinach, only to realize, after recognizing him, that he had to be joking.

None of us is perfect all the time, but, I don't feel like picking fights just to pick fights.

I'm not judging the OP's situation, either. I wasn't there and do not know the conditions. Just relaying how I approach this issue.

Caruso