Your digestive system may be reminding you that you should eat better.
I had horrible issues with both diarrhea and constipation.
After several years of tweaking things with my doctor I have learned that I have an intolerance to lactose, GERD, a problem with excessively fatty food, and needed more fiber. Plus, I had a bacteria problem that caused a severely temperamental stomach.
Hot drinks are also a wonderful thing to make you go when need be. I drink hot tea in the morning to get it over with before starting my commute. Nothing ruins a commute like needing to take a dump in the middle of a city very early in the morning.

Sorry, it takes more than your post to actually disgust me.

God I am bored today.