Forget carbon stems. Thomson X2 is the best bang for the buck and comes in silver or black. Very stiff and looks good also. Bar width is subjective in my opinion. At your size and bike frame size most everyone is going to tell you a 44 c-to-c bar is correct. Not sure you are going to get much aero advantage with a slightly more narrow bar.
Correct your stem length first. Set your seat in a comfy position(relative to knee position and height) and figure out what length stem you really need. Suspect you may like the FSA bar once you get the right position unless you have very small hands relative to everything else.
Another option: Go to a good LBS with bike in tow for a pro fitting session. $150 or so but it might be worth it.
A good stiff handlebar with a fairly short reach is the ITM wing shape carbon over alum. With the smallest hands in the land, I pay attention to these things.