mike-
Welcome! I think your philosophy and general attitude towards life will be widely accepted here. I certainly appreciate it.
I think you've managed to run into some serious cycling poseurs. I wouldn't worry about it. If fenders make your ride more enjoyable, get them. They happen to be very effective. In terms of the appearance factor, don't worry about that either. I think you'll find that there are a number of people here that take specific pride in dusting off a rider on a $3000 bike in full sponsorship gear (that they bought online no less) on their 20 year old road bikes, hybrids, etc... To each their own, but if you're worried about how you look, you're definately missing the point.
just my two cents.