I have been waiting for a while for Primal Gear or some other novelty-wear maker to come up with a whole line of fakenger/bikepunk trompe l'euil spandex: shorts with fake patches, "frayed" "cuffs" and "mini u-lock" tucked into the "back pocket"; jerseys that look like a thrift store Judas Priest shirt with the sleeves cut off and mock grease stains and "holes".