Le Couch Potato: The guy who seems to have watched every stage of Le Tour live and then in slow motion and has to talk about it the entire ride, spoiling every highlight for you and then injecting his "expert" opinion on every move.

The Rabbit: The skinny one who sprints past the whole pack then sits up and rides no handed while they catch up, then drifts slowly to the back to do it again. Although he never boasts, you can tell he walks and talks like he's God after the ride.

The Hermit: This guy doesn't say anything during the entire ride. You don't know if it's because he's suffering and can't spare the breath, or because he's a serial killer, but if he gets dropped on a climb he's the reason for the conversation for the regroup.
"Is everybody here?"
"I think we had one more"
"Who's that"
"I don't know his name, but I think he had a plain white jersey on"
"I don't think he was with our group"
"OK let's go"

Mr. Bigring: Rides the entire ride in the big ring/little cog. Gets dropped on every climb but doesn't complain or try to use lower gears. Does he even know his bike has shifters?