Okay, well, I don't expect anyone will want to actually say this, and I understand that, but in case someone DOES know, please PM me the most efficient way to break OnGuard U-locks (minis) and a krypto chain. As I said, I really don't expect this, but if you look at my posts, I'm NOT a thief, and in fact, if you're in NYC and you'd be willing to help me out, that'd be even better. Crap crap crap.
And BTW, any wisecracks really aren't going to surpass every single smarmy comment I've come up with to berate myself.