sheesh! guns, guns, guns. seems every time someone mentions the word 'weapon' everybody leaps onto the firearm bandwagon for a quick spin around the parking lot.

guns are expensive, noisy, prone to failure (have your numchucks ever 'jammed' on you? no.) and most states have special laws with bigger penalties specifically for gun use. and for what advantage? well, guns are better than other weapons at two main things: inflicting fatal wounds and doing so at range.

so, let's look at those 'advantages' shall we? well, fatal wounds... that's a bit harsh, dontcha think? sure that cellphone-yappin, donut-eatin' cager wheeling his escalade around the bike lane like he's riding the tilt-a-whirl is a public menace. but blowing everything north of his hairline into gooey pile in the passenger seat is a bit of an, uh, overreaction.

as for range... well, come on. you're riding a bike. in a combat situation. if you're anything like an average handgun owner you probably can't hit cereal box at 15m on your first try with your feet planted firmly on the ground. what are you gonna do with that glock while you're rocketing around on your brakeless fixie? i'll tell ya what. you're going to spray lead all over the countryside and hit your intended target somewhere between zero and a still zero times.

so, guns are the wrong tool for this job.

i prefer two bucks of roofing nails driven through a 1 meter length of garden hose. makes a great spike belt for high-stress cager situations and doubles as a sassy fashion accessory when you don't need it.