Either this is an enjoyable tongue-in-cheek post, or this is one very unusual and interesting guy (and gal)! Either way it brightened my day. While I suspect the former -- due to the very, very precise figures -- my sage advice is to get the stoker on a single for the next 2 years to reduce team weight, and then start shopping for a nice new starter tandem after spending the 50 bucks to rent one for a day to see if it works for the team. Or ... borrow one from a tandem friend and spend 8 bucks out of the cookie jar to get the friend a decent six-pack of local brew. As others have said many times, you should try before you buy to see if these two folks would be compatible as tandemistas. Early in the two-year future stoker riding, she may pick up enough cans to put the can pile "over the top" and -- voila -- the money is there.

Sounds like this team will want 26 inch wheels with those larger soft-ride tires. Fortunately many entry level tandems could be a good match for the needs of this team. Kick stand would be essential for the frequent stops described as being contemplated. That's my $0.02.