Look no further than a 32h front and 36h rear Deep-V. Use 2.0/1.8/2.0 all the way around. You could consider thinner (1.5) spokes for the NDS rear spokes, which will help prevent them from going slack on a big bump.
If you build up a 32h/36h set of Deep-Vs, you can go around and re-shape potholes at will. That's what I ride and race on, and my brother-in-law too (I built both sets). He actually has several wheelsets, but always uses the Deep-Vs because of "feel" and reliability. His are 18 months old now, and I did the pluck test on the rear, and every single spoke on the drive side still plays exactly same note. It's like the wheels haven't aged at all. He was 200 lbs when he started riding them, and is 185 now. I'm down to 178, but I still prefer my Deep Vs.
Many new racing tandems have 36h Deep-Vs...