Can anybody give me info on trackstands? I wanna see some pics. no. no.

What is the coolest color messenger bag? And does it have a stash pocket? lime green, no.

Are 28's really more comfy than 23's? yes, but only about 5mm more comfy.

Is it okay to ride with my seatpost showing the lil' "do not expose this line" thing? no, it voids the warranty on your butt, and can lead to constant checking if your frame is cracked or not.

Is permanganese-oxided-steel better than chromoly steel? angle iron beats both of them.

If my bike is gray, what color should my bar tape be? bright ****ing orange!

What does it mean to have sloping top tubes? it means you got GAAAAAME!!!!

Do you patch your tubes or just toss them? i patch 'em, then i toss 'em.

When do you know you have a flat tire? when you take a corner at speed and your tire rolls off, causing your rim to make direct contact with the street and then you slide out. it makes cool sparks sometimes!

What do some people ride clipless pedals? ...

How do I put spokecards in my radially laced front wheel? duct tape.

Why does my brooks saddle squeak? that's...um....not your saddle.

Are presta valves better than schrader? puuullleeeeze! everyone knows the way to go is to get solid styrofoam tires....jesus...

What's the best technique to skid? balls to stem, chin to pavement.

How do you make bullhorns? take a piece of paper and roll it into a cone-shape. VOILA! INSTANT BULLHORN!

Do I really need a front brake? do you really need shoes?

Can I use a cross lever on my 26.5mm stem? no. doing so will disrupt the space-time continuum and cause the universe to implode.

Why does my chrome pista not get me laid? because you're too busy looking at your own reflection to notice members of the opposite sex.

google.com is only good for finding hardcore, animal amputee porn.