Cheese, my friend... The great equalizer... Cheese, and lots of it! As a younger man, I spent a summer in the militia and there were several of us who didn't know what to do while on manuevres out in the bush for days on end (no crappers, leaves of dubious origin). Cheese, that glorious cheddar, mozzarella, havarti, gouda... you name it. Cheese can be your best friend. Bite it and bind it, I always say.