As a coffee snob, I'm like clockwork. Four hours after the first cup, I visit the water closet (I always wanted to say that). Grande latte I can handle. A venti turns me inside out.

If you're pounding coffee like Jagermeister at a frat house, then back off. I went to Kansas City to see family last week. Didn't have a cup of joe the first two days I was there. Guess which two days I didn't drop mud?