Originally Posted by Niles H.

Thanks for all the varied replies here. They have been helpful.

No, it's not a troll.

No, it's not bragging.

I'm glad some people could hear where it is coming from and respond.

I'm even glad to hear the others as well. I've come to realize that different people will have different interpretations, some accurate, some not so accurate.

To disclaim one apparent misinterpretation: I have no illusions that I am particularly good looking. I'd say I'm just about average.

On top of that, I really don't want these involvements. I don't care a pin about being some kind of casanova or stud -- I not only couldn't care less, and have zero aspirations along those lines: I have a positive desire to be free.

I think some guys who are starved for female companionship just haven't had enough.

I had one professor who told a story about his love of peach ice cream. One day he went ahead and ate a whole half gallon at once. He had no desire for peach ice cream for some time after that.

****
In any case, I've learned a few things from the postings here. And thank you to the women who have offered some good suggestions. The men too.

I think part of the problem is that I seem to have "sucker" written all over me. It seems to attract certain attempts at whatever. I've actually tried quite a few things, and I'm still falling into problems.

Whoever it was who said just be honest -- that's good. I tend to be too nice too often. But I really don't want to be cruel -- and it isn't always easy to tell someone the truth.

A situation comes to mind: A woman I had been halfway involved with (but did not want any further involvement with, and really was hoping I would never see again) saw me walking across a parking lot when I got back from a long trip. She was working in a video store (I didn't know this beforehand -- she had gotten the job while I was gone) and saw me through the window. She came out and was clearly very happy to see me. I was not particularly happy to see her. She said, "Are ya happy to see me??"

What could I say?

I would have been quite cruel to say, "NO, you're just about the last person I want to see."

To make a long story short, she seemed to have my number -- women (okay, some women) are quite manipulative (in my experience), and some of these 'have my number', and.......

The rest follows.

Or this one: I grew a beard and wore an old, stinky hat hoping it would maintain a certain distance. Without going into a long story, she invited me home for the night (no strings or expectations....), offered to wash my clothes and hat (she did), gave me some of her clothes to wear in the meantime (in this case it was her pajamas, in another it was her sweats) and ended up thinking I looked good in them [again, I'm not particularly good looking -- average height, somewhat thin -- nothing special -- and I don't flirt or try to bring this stuff on]...............

****
One piece of feedback I get is that I'm "good to talk to". Or I'm a "good listener". Or there is something "unusual" about me, or that they just like to have me around (maybe they just want a pet) [personally I think some little god or imp is just having some fun doing all this with me].[Which doesn't mean I'm powerless to stop it necessarily, which is why I'm posting -- to find ways to help stop it. I really prefer to maintain my freedom.]

If anyone reading imagines that this stuff just doesn't happen, try reading A Midsummer Night's Dream. Better yet, watch a good video version of it. (The one with William Hurt is great. And there are others -- often available for free at libraries, and for a pittance by rental) And maybe some good commentary (videos of Peter Sacchio are extremely good (he's an unusually good communicator and teacher and scholar (from the Dartmouth English Dept.)).)

****
This stuff has been happening for centuries, at least since Shakespeare.

A lot longer than that, actually. Since ancient Greece. Since the cave men. Since the Neandethals. Since early primates.

Since our distant rodent-like ancestors, probably, and even further than that.

****
So what am I supposed to do?

Okay, become a gruff and cruel bsstard.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if some of them liked that.

****
One that 'got me' actually grabbed me as I was trying to leave and gave a full-body-contact hug (she was wearing a thin dress with nothing under it...........................

I got away for a while, but she hunted me down and played a few more of her tricks, and we ended up quite involved.

Another flashed her breasts during lunch.

All kinds of things.

[You're a wicked, wicked, WICKED gender. And you know it! And some of you know just what I am talking about here.]

****
I had sodium pentathol when I was about eighteen or nineteen. Afterwards, when I came in for a follow up (after my wisdom teeth had been pulled), the nurses gathered around and told me that they see a lot of people under the influence, and they say a lot of interesting and unusual things, but I took the cake...... and I don't even know what I said, and didn't particularly care -- and I didn't particularly anticipate or try to have them around me like that ------ this kind of _________(whatever it is)(the play of life I suppose) just happens, or it plays these tricks and seems to enjoy itself in the process.

****
[[And I know some of you guys can't quite relate to it, but there are some of us who *really* just want to be free of involvements.]]