You forgot fashion, man. What do all you crazy bike people wear? Why don't I look as good as you when I wear bike shorts? Do they make my but look fat? Does wearing a US Postal Jersey mean that my co-workers will go postal on me? Or does it mean that I'll ride faster, and be able to get away from them? Should I change clothes and shower at work, or just be a greasy sweaty mess?

Sorry, I'm not a troll, just a junkie. Can't come up with much else. Other than :

Happy Birthday!!!

Apologies to A.Troll.