I should have been much more proactive and taken these kinds of steps 18 months ago. I have consistently waited too long to deal with my stress issues each step of the way - in part because I didn't want to have to make them and so each time convinced myself I didn't need to. And I was wrong every time.

I liken my condition to someone who injures their knee or back and then doesn't follow the full path to recovery. They half-treat it and then subject it to full pressure again and again, continually re-injuring the initial condition. Then half-treat it again and repeat the entire process. Eventually they get to the point of where their knee or back can now only handle half or less of the load it used to. That's how I am on stress. I overload so much more quickly than I used to.

What I really need to do is to take 6 months off. The mere thought of doing so makes my heart flutter. I know this would be best for me long-term, but don't know how to pull it off - given financial and job concerns.

So while I'm really looking forward to my new '08 plan & schedule and I know it will help, I also know that it still isn't enough. In any case, I know it will be better than trying to stay where I'm at for another year, as I'm not even certain I could make it another year without severe problems.

It's been an interesting journey, one where I have had less control over my own well-being than I've ever had. One cannot simply analyze and reason away stress problems.