it's ok, some opf the best messengers i know here were the biggest drunks for 3 years, and smoked cigarettes. one just quite drinking, so he wont run into bike racks and brag about quitting ontime drunk again. he still smokes.

what im saying is, get a messenger job, just dont expect to lose yer substance abuse (except maybe in europe, where theyre spandex hotshots in lotsa places)