Frame material: Aluminum! Steel rusts and bends, and carbon scratches & explodes. Titanium is rare and expensive.

Rivendell: Who's Rivendell?

Brakes: I should've made sure that I had clearance for Kool Stop MTB dual-compound pads on my roadie. Too bad they don't; now I have to buy the "Dura-type" ones. I want kickass brakes, though.

Bling: Bling = lowrider Schwinn Stingray knockoff bicycles with hundred-spoke, straight-laced gold-plated wheels, twisted handlebars and inverted springer forks. Zipps ain't "bling" -- they're just costly.

Brooks: The retrogrouch in me wants to try one, but I'd have to give up on the clip-in seatbags for my Fizik saddles.

Conduct: If you're slower than they are, stay out of the way. If you're faster, then proceed to make them jealous.