Another vote for Waterford... they will build the bike to fit, and at a reasonable price. You can save some money getting Tiagra or 105 level components. You can save some more by getting some of it on Ebay.
Waterford has many options, but since money is a concern, just get a TIG frame without the fancy paint job.
You could also ask them for a frame that was a blend of their touring and sport models. Their touring bike is called the Adventure and it's a real tank. It is intended to cross continents. Correct me if I am wrong but it sounds like you want a bike that will be a little lively when not loaded. They can take a Road Sport, beef up a couple areas, add a millimeter or two to the chainstays, and you will have a bike that can tour and feel fun when just riding.