Again this morning I had an encounter with a driver while riding my bicycle to work. We talked about what happened. I’ve resolved this year to be more polite, to really try and understand the other side, not to let my anger get the best of me. Yet it makes me mad when people almost kill me. Mad enough to respond in kind. I know there would be no good outcome if violence erupted so I labor to be nice as I know how. So far so good this year, but I worry that it is only March. Our conversation went something like this

Me- Good morning. How are you. You know you came pretty close to me as you passed by. Your mirror wasn’t even a foot away from my arm. You really need to be a little more careful.

Him-Hi, good morning. Oh, yeah, on the curve. I didn’t cross over the double yellow line cause a car was coming the other way. That would have been unsafe.

Me-Yeah, I understand you wouldn’t want to collide head on, but it was more than unsafe to crowd me out and nearly run me off the road. I could have been badly hurt.

Him-I guess you could have pulled off the shoulder, or not have been in the road to begin with. I really didn’t want to cram on my brakes, or slow too much and inconvenience the cars behind me.

Me-T he issue is how to safely pass one, not my choice of transportation. I have every right to be on the road, legal, moral, you name it. You have an obligation to drive safely. You could have slowed, then passed when it was clear and safe, rather than maintain your 45 mph speed and crowd me out. Because I was near the shoulder doesn’t mean you can just try and squeeze by.

Him-Well I guess you are right. I didn’t think about it that way.

We exchanged a few more pleasantries and parted company politely. My thoughts turned to my resolution to keep the anger in check and his agreement to try to pay a little more attention in the future. As I rode away I was surprised at how nice the encounter had ended and that it had a partially good outcome. It usually doesn’t go that well.

I have a plea for that and all the other drivers out there. Please don’t run me over. I am a husband, a father, a son, a veteran, a volunteer, a citizen, sometimes a driver, and I also ride a bicycle. I’m out there on my bike a lot, most days of the year in all kinds of weather. I stop at lights, keep to the right, wear bright clothes, signal my intentions, always wear a helmet, ride defensively and try to anticipate what folks in cars are going to do. Still I find myself in more close calls with cars than I ever admit to my wife and kids and more than I am comfortable with myself. I really don’t deserve it.

OK, I get it. You resent that you can’t immediately pass by me safely at times and are delayed a brief moment. However the same is true for that school bus (substitute ambulance, kid on a scooter, etc) but I don’t see you taking out your rage on them. I understand that you think the roads are just for you, even though you are mistaken, just because you are in the car. Let me assure you that everyone I know in the cycling community also owns and drive cars, and they pay the same taxes and fees as you do. You have no more right to the road than any other citizen. The roads were built for us all and can accommodate us all if you just don’t run me over.

I could talk about the law which says I have every right to be on the road. It even says how much room you are supposed to give me when you pass, how you are supposed to pass and how you shouldn’t pass when it is unsafe. Doubt if such logic would sway you much because we all had to pass the same tests to get the licenses the state issued. You probably weren’t paying attention then any more than you were when you passed me.

I could talk to you about civility, manners, and all those things your parents and kindergarten teacher emphasized way back when. You know, the idea of do unto others as you would have them do to you. Among these would be the concept of sharing, give and take, etc. Again, I bet you say the same things to your kids or family when you get home, right after you cussed at the guy in your way coming down the street, just after you blew the horn and gave that single digit salute. Again, doubt if any of those words would sway you.

So, what I will say to you, again, is please don’t run me over. In any conflict between your car and my bike I lose. I know that. Resent me for not using up gas during my daily commute. Resent me for wearing tight pants and funny shirts. Question my sexuality all you want. Resent that I am physically fit and interested in remaining healthy even if you aren’t. Make fun of my choices all you want. Just don’t run me over. Let me go home to my family, finish my ride and laugh and joke with my friends. Let me help out at the next soccer event or the high school game next fall, or the next scout meeting. If you run me over people will lose a friend, the community will lose a good citizen, my family will lose their main provider, and no one will win.

Thanks, and I promise to wave nicely as you give me some room.