I've never even come close to hitting a bird, but on certain roads in summer I seem to get a red-wing blackbird escort for a few miles at a time. Must be nesting grounds, I guess. As for grasshoppers, I managed to suck one into my rear cluster a couple of weeks ago. It actually stopped an annoying squeak that had developed after giving my derailleur wheels a good cleaning, so I figure that grasshopper guts make a decent lubricant.

I did have a kamikaze squirrel try to run between my wheels once - I was on my mountain bike, and it sort of got pulled up on the trailing edge of the front tire, twirled a couple of times, extricated itself, and ran up a tree. I barely had time to register what was happening before it was over.

did