1. If I ride my bike into a tree or flip it over, it's not going to burst into flames.

2. Paramedics will never need to use the Jaws of Life to free me from the twisted wreckage of my bike.

3. If I ride my bike into the Sacramento River, I can't get trapped inside it.

4. After a long, tiring day, it's very unlikely that I would fall asleep on my bike.

5. In case I ever did fall asleep riding my bike, the resulting crash would be minor because I probably would be going very slow.

6. Riding my bike to work, it would be very odd to be involved in a freeway pile-up.

7. In order for my bike to enter a hydroplane skid, I would have to reach a speed of at least 104 mph.

8. If I'm fixing a flat tire and my bike happens to fall on me, the resulting injuries (if any) would be entirely minor.

9. On a bicycle, it's impossible to mistake the accelerator for the brake and zoom out of control. In fact, zooming out of control is really cycling Nirvana and what all of us strive for and never attain.

10. Going over the bars will not result in injuries as severe as those incurred if I were to put my head through the windshield.

11. I was trapped under my bike once. I lifted it off of me and got up.

12. When I approach my bike to unlock it, I don't have to worry about someone hiding in the backseat, waiting to attack me.