learned so much at my training group ride last night..

I cant see straight this morning and feel like a bus hit me but here goes...

we set out to do a very windy 2 hour training ride.
the ride leader was riding next to me, explaining what he had in mind to practice, (pace lines and intervals)
well.... it didnt quite work out this way, there was another newbie with us and he rode in the most erratic ways... he would leave the group and sprint away from us, leaving me with a gap to close and a nasty head wind.. Id sprint and close the gap just for him to come back to riding with the group and take off again, leaving me to struggle to close the gap again.( and again and again)
( seems he couldnt control himself to chase down any riders that didnt belong to us just to show off)

I really lost a lot of energie playing catch up to close the gap, but in a way I am glad he rode like this. made me learn that picking the right wheel to follow will be a determinating factor for me as to staying with the group versus getting dropped.

the cross wind was unbarable at times and the ride leader had the group in a formation where i was most protected ( since I was the smallest of them all) that new rider would just start riding erraticly again and take off from the formation!
the ride leader decided that we werent going to practice the pace line, he felt that this kid could cause us a crash.
we practice intervals and ...I could keep up!!! side note ( I got an email from the ride leader saying that I was holding on very well and was a very fast learner)

OK climbs... same problem.. I fall behind on most of them. I took the time to listen to my body and mind to find out what is the matter here.
breathing was fine, no signs of struggle... legs were burning. it was a matter of how long can I endure this pain and this is where I was fighting with myself " you can, you are doing it!!"
" who are you kidding,you cant keep that up!!!"
I would give in and fall back, so in other words. i need to learn to be able to suffer for a longer time than Im used to, so this is partly a "mental" problem and of course physical since im riding with all men and they are stronger then me.