Screw the A, B, and C screws! I did some good old Cro Magnon technology and grabbed the freakin overly long derailleur and bent it out and now I've got it working on all except the biggest cog. Maybe I'll give it some more of that medicine and see what happens...I'll probably bust it.

When I get this thing fixed, I think I'll either sell it and buy a nice old used bike that even a cave man like me can comprehend, or perhaps I'll convert it into a internal hub gear (vertical dropouts, though), or put on small racing derailleurs on it. I don't really need the low gears, anyway.

Not one of my better buying decisions, I think.