To appease the cycling Gods:

1. Purchase a Campagnolo Cork Remover [A fine tradition and gift.]
2. Hang it above your fireplace. [Bikes were born of fire.]
3. By a bottle of sacramental wine. [The Gods like a blessed vin.]
4. Open using a lesser cork remover. [Crude labor is beneath the elite cork remover.]
5. Sprinkle drops of the wine on the Campagnolo cork remover and yourself. [Consider yourself biketized.]

Then go out and kick some ass!

=8-)