You should consider funding long term care insurance for your mother. Otherwise, she will have to deplete all assets and go on medicaid. I am not an expert in this area at all. In my minimal understanding in this, there are just two groups of people that don't need long term care insurance, the rich (they have enough assets to easily fund their needs, no one thinks Bill Gates will run out of money) and the broke (they go on welfare/medicaid). Everyone else needs it. Don't know you can get it for your dad given his current situation, but at least get it for mom. And at least at this point, mom can take care of dad. Who will take care of mom at some point in the future?

Some legal declaration for your father seems in order. Better to do while your mother enjoys good health. You never know when that can change. And such a change can come quick! In my case, both of my parents suffered from dementia. Not many good choices at that point....

As far as stuff, at some point, it can/should be converted to cash. Perhaps one of the "good" siblings could help them on ebay, or whatever, to start selling stuff off. I have started to use the rule: "have I touched the item in the last two years?" No matter how emotionally "attached" I think I am to some item, some trinket, the fact that I had stuff in a box, untouched since I left for college (a long time ago), is a clear signal that this stuff is just not that damn important. Better to have fewer, important (to you) items, than a house full of stuff that you never look at, never touch. And what a gift to the next generation, if each of us deals with most of our stuff, rather than force the next generation to deal with it.

Be careful on reverse mortgages. Unfortunately, a large percentage of reverse mortgage recipients immediately flip the money into high cost/low benefit financial instruments (like some annuities). +1 on AARP has some good info in this area.

Again a very superficial analysis on my part.