I don't know if it was coincidence, but not long after posting here I finally got a reply to my email from swrve. I, too, take back what I said about their customer service. Though it did take a while for them to respond, I am completely pleased with the result (which was "send them back and we'll send you a new pair").
Apparently the belt loops sewn through the pockets issue has been resolved since I orginally bought mine.
I'm jealous at all the options out there for guys in semi-normal-looking, non-lycra cycling knickers. Is there really such a limited market for these for women?