I was reminded of a certain fellow I know who likes to imbibe large amounts of alcohol and because he drove his car into a house and lost his license now only bikes. Of course he bikes home totally sloshed--but only when he can't scam a ride.

One night he rode his bike at a high rate of speed into the back of a parked conversion van that he couldn't see because of oncoming headlights. Naturally it was probably hard for him to figure out which image to steer around. His head went through the back window and the glass slit his throat. The oncoming driver stopped and administered first aid and a cop got there quickly. Fortunately they were able to control the blood loss and he lived. The cop said if he hadn't been so drunk he would have bled to death--the alcohol somehow slowed his blood flow or his heart rate or something. Now he has a nice scar across his throat which he is proud of.

Another time he says he drunk drove his bicycle at about 30 mph down a long hill. Unfortunately he forgot the road "T"ed at the bottom. So instead of making a 90 degree turn left or right, he slammed into the curb straight on. I think he just landed in the mud.

The bad news is he just got his drivers license back.

There was also a guy here who drunk drove his bike into a tree and died of head injuries. I guess he hit the curb and fell into the tree. Heck, some people should wear helmets when they WALK!