First decide on the approximate quality- weight and colour of the bike you want and start looking- Go to every shop you can find that stocks the type of bike you want and Look- sit on and hopefully test ride the ones that fit your criteria. And then keep looking.
Then it happens- You go to a shop and there is a bike that talks to you. The one that fits- Has the right components and has a suitable colour. Take it for a test ride- and it screams at you.
It sounds as though you are not finding the right bike at present- and you are doing right by not committing to it. But that right bike will appear- the only problem is that it will be well above your price- but you can always sell the kids to get it. Only thing is do get the colour right- There are certain colours to steer clear of with the main one being White.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.
Spike Milligan