1 Road racing/fitness bike
1 Mountian Bike (setup for "heavy" commuter duty)
1 700C Hybrid (Light/Sport Commuter)
1 Adult Trike (Grocery Hauler/Heavy/Bulk Cargo carrier)
2 Folding bikes (One operational the other one in project status)

Plus, I lust for a Surly Big Dummy but can't afford one.

Isn't the formula for total number of bikes the number currently owned represented by N equal to N+1?
In truth I could get by with two less bikes if my first bike owned in adulthood had been a touring bike instead of a road racing bike. I'm not a competitive racer and most ride events I've ridden were tours that they "played up" the whole "Tour de" aspect. A touring bike would have worked for these charity rides taken over the role of the road racing/fitness bike and 700C Hybrid.