As soon as you're online they make you feel small
By tripping you up and then mocking your fall
And the net is so big you know nothing at all
An Internet hero is something to be

They flail you in email and they flame you in news
They followup if you're clever and they killfile the fools
Till you're so ****ing busy you can't follow their rules
An Internet hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you right down to the bone
Then they'll expect you to pick up their phone
And when the system won't function you're left on your own
An Internet hero is something to be

Keep you doped with the web and TCP/IP
And you think you're so hardwired surfing for free
But you're still clueless newbies as far as I can see
An Internet hero is something to be

There's work for consultants they say on the phone
But first you must learn to run Unix at home
If you want to live like a geek on your own
An Internet hero is something to be

If you want to be a hero well just follow me