I have been in the "recovery" mode where you are twice in my life. Both times I viewed getting back to the activity as my motivation to rehab and return to it. I did not have nearly the physical injuries that you have but I did experience the anxiety and self doubt. Talking to others really helped me make peace. Eventually I stopped beating my self up about it and I "got back on the horse". I was a little tentative at first but it passed. It also helped that both activites (racing my car and biking) are activities that I truly love and are very important to my mental health. I wish you the best with your injuries and hope that you find peace with your decision.