See, here you self-righteous cyclists are again declaring that you've saved the planet and simultaneously griping about the snow and cycling in the winter. Guess what, my single-occupant SUV means business and it means global warming. I've been working for years to singlehandedly end this plague upon cyclists known as bone-chilling cold and snow. Do us a favor and at least burn the gas in your fireplace or something.

-The Campaign for Bikinis in Manitoba.