Originally Posted by kf5nd

No disrespect intended... how's your relationship overall? If a man is not feeling like he's being "heard" in his marriage, his interests will go elsewhere, to a sport, activity, or other women.

Your husband spending more time on the bike than with you is the outward manifestation of very complex interactions and history between you two. There probably won't be anyone here who can suggest a quick-fix cure for you two.

Counseling would be a start.

The tone of your posting suggests somewhat of an accounting mentality toward your relationship. "I spend time on a tandem, therefore I should get something in return". "How can I get him to" displays a desire to control the other person.

If you keep going in that direction, you're headed for the rocks, believe me.

Strategic thinking and preservation of self-interest are no substitute for the selfless love that is required as the bedrock of marriage.