I can't believe you keep buying more fake bikes.

You should send me your fakes and in my capacity as a minister in the Universal Life Church I will grant you absolution once I assure they are all in good working order.

Your soul is in peril as you embrace these fakes as if they were really bicycles

REPENT! Send them to me and all will be forgiven..

If that is not possible than at least give them more of a test than a measly 8 miles. Gotta be 20 km at the least...