Here's another from my big bag of doofus-driver tales. Just back in October I was commuting home from work and, fortunately, I enjoy a bike-lane for 90% of the way. At one point, however, the lane disconnects and it is necessary for me to make a left-hand turn to re-join the bike-lane. I signalled from the bike-lane and merged safely into the lane, with no-one behind me until a light a few meters back turned green. I was mid-way through the turn when, suddenly, a taxi appeared at my side and was passing me on my right-hand side. Of course, I was already angling to the right to slide into my bike-lane when the jerk suddenly appeared directly in my way forcing me to veer to the left to avoid a collision. There was no point uttering any profanity or flipping him the bird, as I needed two hands to steer my wide-handled cruiser and keep from crossing the line into oncoming traffic. That particular street always has heavy rush-hour traffic and I knew the taxi would be forced to a stop only a few meters beyond the turn in any event. Sure enough, he came to a halt behind a long line of single-lane traffic perhaps ten car-lengths beyond the turn and I pulled my bike in front of his cab and dismounted. Approaching the driver, I asked if he felt it was worth it to almost kill me and force me to nearly collide with opposite-direction traffic. I was calm and controlled in my voice, but my posture and glare must have given my intensity away. He opened his mouth, as if to tell me how I could combine sex and travel, perhaps, when I held up my hand, cutting him off, and advised him I have his license plate number, cab number and a witness, gesturing to the female passenger in the back-seat. I further reminded him I was quite prepared to contact the police right then and there and proceed with formal charges. I suggested he could avoid that if he apologized. He muttered something that may have been an apology, it was difficult to discern, but the look on his face showed he was being considerably less than sincere. I addressed the woman in the back and stated that she just witnessed how frivolous and meaningless he regarded my life when he comitted an illegal, dangerous and nearly fatal act. 'Just consider that he is in operation of a vehicle you're riding in and you likely don't mean anything more to him than I did.' (or something to that effect)

I climbed back on my bike and proceeded to pass all the dumb motosits inching along in traffic when I heard a car-door slam. Glancing back, I saw the woman standing on the sidewalk and telling the cabbie to engage in a sexual act with himself. When he demanded payment, she refused, claiming she will not pay for someone who endangered her life and others as well, even offering to call the police herself on her cell-phone if he wanted to escalate matters, reminding him of course that she would relate, in detail, what had occured with the cyclist (me). Wisely, the cabbie grudgingly dropped the whole issue and, rather aggressively, pulled a U-turn and took off. I waved back at the woman and continued on my way, hoping she had left him with a sizable loss for his idiocy.