A Night from Hell!

Okay, last night I went in with a pretty positive attitude for my Sleep Apnea/Disorders study.

Here are some givens:

1. I am the parent of a son born in 1967 with profound mental *********** with a magnitude of perceptual problems that made sleeping (and even living at times) a severe challenge (even flicking a light switch would awaken him), and having stayed up most of the night for several years back then and I was in a constant state of sleep deprivation;

2. Then, my oldest son was totally paralyzed (C-4;C-5) from the neck down in a sports accident in 1986 and I spent years with him helping to rehab him, train aides, stay up all night at times - he is now a successful married lawyer, having graduated from Stanford Law School as the president of his class - but more sleep deprivation;

3. Then (in 1998) having my son (the one born in 1967) fall out of bed and break his back at L-5, having an operation, and staying with him in the rehab hospital practically full-time for three months, and then working with him daily at rehab activities until he could walk again in another year;

4. Over the years I have fought tremendous battles for the proper programs for both sons (i.e., intensive battles with Vocational Rehabilitation for both sons, school system, community agencies, legislatures, etc.)

5. Quitting my career and starting and running a unique program for Andy and others - non-profit, fund-raising, staff, all the stuff, including the extreme tensions of my company being sued for a minor injury to one of our clients.

6. Teaching in a really tough middle school the past four years, with the last year having an absolutely crazy principal.

7. And a whole bunch more of crap.

Anyway, I hope you get the picture. Sleep, and achieving sleep have become real issues for my wife and myself.

We have devised a number of techniques to assist in our attaining sleep, which include:

1. We never answer the phone after 8:00 pm.

2. We do not watch stimulating or horror events on TV - nothing about disabilities, murder, etc., especially after 8:00 pm. (which means there is not a lot for us to watch)

3. We are extremely regular in our pre-sleep routines - my wife always goes to bed at 10:00 pm, and I go to sleep in my big chair at about 10:35, and then transfer to the bed about midnight (well, it works for me), and always get up at 5:30-6:00 am.

4. We get prodigious amounts of exercise, and, in fact, are addicted to exercise, and can't sleep until we have that exercise.

5. And a variety of other techniques which we have devised over the years to protect ourselves from sleep deprivation and to get adequate rest.

And, it has worked pretty well the past several years.

So, all of this brings us to the sleep study last night. During the early part of the day I had walked 6 miles to get my proper exercise.

1. Arrive at the office at 8:45 pm, escorted by the technician to the office where two of us were assigned separate "bedrooms."

2. Immediately told by the technician that I would be there for a "split night" study - this was a surprise to me, I had not been told this earlier.

3. This caused an immediate reaction for me of: "Good Lord, I HAVE to get my sleep done early so that I will have time for the 2nd half of the study, how I do on the CPAP mask." This, tension, of course, had the exact opposite effect - which was to make me even more anxious about sleeping, and the net result was that sleep was nearly impossible.

4. All the time I was being "hooked up" to the machines, I was being "educated" about sleep disorders, CPAP machines, etc., all at bout 9:30 - 10:00 pm, which is my normal "relaxing" time. I also "practiced" the CPAP machine while the other patient was getting "hooked up."

5. The room was hot. I am used to sleeping in a cold room (about 60F) and it was at least 70. There was no way to get it colder. I burned up all night.

6. The TV did not work.

7. So, there I finally am, with 22 leads hooked to all parts of my body, and two extremely tight chest straps, and now the tech say "Good night," closes the door, and I am supposed to go to sleep lying on my back (I never go to sleep on my back), all the while thinking that I HAVE to sleep so that I can do the 2nd part of the study.

8. Every time you go potty, you have to wave your hand (which makes some kind of something on the computer screen) and yell out as loud as possible, "Hello, hello." Then you get unhooked, wires wrapped around your wrist, and carrying a little junction box and dragging wires, you go to the bathroom.

9. Meantime, you have been told that the sensors on your leg are to detect is you kick your legs a lot, and, subconsciously, you are desperately trying to hold your legs perfectly still so that you don't fail that part of the test, also! I kept wondering what the computer screen looked like for all the sensors attached to me.

10. You are not allowed any watch or clock, so you have no clue about the passing of time. About two hours into the "sleep" (of which there has been none) I needed to go potty, waved my hand and yelled "Hello" several times. The tech comes in and says to me, "Having a little trouble relaxing?" Hey, that helped a lot! So, I got through the "potty routine" and went back to bed, where I was supposed to do "relaxing, cleansing breathing."

11. Finally, I guess I slept a bit, as the tech came in and informed me that we would now begin the 2nd part of the test. I was fitted with a CPAP mask, TIGHTLY on my face with straps around the back of my head. By now, my right ear lobe was hurting like heck from the probe attached to the ear lobe, and I couldn't rest on my right side, which is my normal way of sleeping.

12. So, this mask really became uncomfortable. The tech kept coming in and said. "You are grinding your teeth" and similar things, and that I should relax, as if it was my fault. Also, the probes kept coming off of the back of my head, and that again was implied that I had been taking them off. To my knowledge, I never touched my head, but, hey, who knows?

13. My jaw started hurting terribly (it still does) from the pressure of the mask and my response to that pressure. I think I slept a few minutes along the way.

Finally, I yelled out "Hello, hello" again and waved my arm. The tech came in and said I needed to relax more (how am I supposed to do that?) and I stated "I won't be able to sleep any more, so we might as well stop trying." Well, come to find out, it was 5:30 am anyway, and the test was finished.

The tech said that perhaps I needed to come back once more with a "sleeping aid" - she had previously been upset that I had taken a prescribed Restoril before sleeping - am I ever looking forward to that! I got dressed, met my wife, and we went to McDonald's for breakfast and I went home and really slept.

I am supposed to get the results from the MD on Friday. I can hardly wait!