If you get a tire like the schwalbe snow stud, when you pump it up to 50-60psi the studs (which are on the sides of the tire, the middle running surface is all knobby rubber) have very little pressure on the asphalt, so on fast dry days you hardly notice the studs, but they still give grip on ice. When you dump the tires down to lower psi, yes you hear the studs, but I have noticed very little wear after 2 years, and you have normal control in my experience. Apparently you should just avoid braking hard for the first 30km of riding while the studs "set in" but I've never had one fall out

Carbide studs, which are on tires 45$ and up basically, are 9 on the mohs scale and so are extremely durable. Steel studs wear out much faster, I think they're only like 6 on the mohs scale. In my experience it's well worth it to get the carbide studs.