I am in the process of building my ultimate commuter bike - I am not as heavy as you are, but I carry a lot of heavy loads to/from work, so I wanted an overbuilt wheelset. My rear wheel is a phil-wood, 36 spoke with a Mavic A719 rims, DT-swiss spokes. My hope is that this wheel will give me many miles of use.

The rear wheel on my current commuter is a Shimano 105, 36 spoke with a Mavic Open Pro rim. It has stayed true and no broken spokes over the past 10K miles. The previous rear wheel, a Tiagra, 32 spoke wheel gave me no end of problems with constantly needing to be trued, and several broken spokes.

I suspect that one of the most important factors is to have the wheel built by somebody who really knows wheelbuilding. - And more spokes are better, especially if you are putting a heavy load on the wheel.