Lance's new snot
I heard that he got this upgrade where his bogies are black and yellow. It was meant to be top secret until the tour, to make his snot rockets as intimidating as his mighty guads, but some journalist found some of his used kleenex while rifling through his rubbish in search of doping products. They tested the mucus for EPO, it was negative, but apparently it's a cure for cancer, and enables the user to walk on water.